i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
