R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I bet he comes in French.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
