I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
