how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
