what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
