Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
