My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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