You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
