508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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