Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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