he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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