I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My vagina is officially offended.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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