He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
