Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
