census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think your dad took our porno
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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