Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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