it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
