i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
