They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
