Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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