my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
