It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
