I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
