Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
