ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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