someone get that fucking seahorse.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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