Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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