Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
