he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
