To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
birth control should be required to get into college
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
