I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
