hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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