why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
