Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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