i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
