So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
