I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
