I can feel you judging me through the phone.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't deserve a penis
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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