Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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