I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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