I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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