Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
