Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Floor bacon is actually really good
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
