Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
