Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
