I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
