Already got asked if we're dating
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
