I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just gargled with NyQuil
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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