it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
