I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
