So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
