I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Michael Bay diarrhea
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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