before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
